When someone else disciplines your child?

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How do you feeling when someone else disciplines your child right in front of you? Does it make a difference who that person is or your relationship to them? Does it make a difference where it is; in their home, your home, in public?
If there’s ever a topic bound to get everyone’s knickers in a twist it’s that of disciplining someone else’s child. Is it right or wrong? In certain circumstances only? Only if it’s a friend or relative? The entire debate is fraught with potential upset, bad feeling and conflict, so what should you do if someone else disciplines your child?
Firstly, check on your child. Physically disciplining someone else’s child is never okay. If your child is hurt, in physical danger or extremely upset then immediately remove them from the situation – you can deal with the person involved later.
Secondly, take a breath. Did they try and let you or your partner deal with it first and you didn’t respond? Was your child participating in behaviour that was dangerous to themselves or others? How would you have reacted if the situation was reversed? These situations always require a cool head. Explain to the disciplinarian that in future you would like them to defer to you (or your partner) first to handle the situation, that discipline from an adult not the child’s caregiver should only occur if danger is imminent, and even how you would have handle things if it was their child.
You might be totally fine with ‘their house, their rules’ but if you’re not then you might want to rethink spending time there with your child. Some parents are fine with close friends and family disciplining their child, particularly if you have the same values and parental style, but just remember not everyone is the same. Discuss the rules of the house before leaving your child at someone else’s house or in their care.They are your child, so it’s up to you to set the rules of who, when, where, and why your child is disciplined; if the person you are leaving them with disagrees with your ground rules, ask if you can stay (play dates, birthday parties, visiting grandparents) or rethink your child’s attendance.
The best way to ensure that no one else feels the need to discipline your child is to be constantly aware of what’s going on and make sure that you deal with situations, in your way, before they get out of hand. We all have different views on discipline so there will never be hard and fast rules that suit everyone and every situation. Vigilance and understanding are required. And don’t forget to breathe.

Mummy of the week

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Tam is the very proud and loving mummy to her beautiful little boy, Jett. The Nanny Emporium team sits down with this gorgeous girl to learn all about her experiences as a first time Mum and why she loves her new role so very much…

Tell us about your family…

We are a new family of 3. My hubby Ben and I welcomed our little man Jett on 28 September 2015. He has definitely kicked our little black pug off his throne! He has been the greatest gift and brought us so much joy. We already couldn’t imagine life without him!

 

What do you love most about being a Mum?

I love watching Jett grow and learn new things each day. I love being able to dress him up in cute little clothes! And I love the way his eyes follow me across the room with such love!

 

What has been one of your favourite memories about motherhood so far?

Definitely Jett’s arrival. As crazy as it may sound, I absolutely loved giving birth to him. It was such an exciting time! I’ve never felt so much pain and joy combined! It’s such an intense experience but so absolutely amazing to bring a new life into the world and hold him for the first time!

 

What baby product can you not live without and why?

I really love our Oricom baby monitor. It’s nice to be able to check in on bub without having to keep going into his room. Also handy for those times you swear you hear the baby crying when you are in the shower! Just a quick look at the monitor confirms I’m more often than not, hearing things!

 

When hiring a nanny, what qualities would you look for in the applicant?

I would definitely want someone that would treat my child as his/her own. A loving, nurturing and calm personality that my child would love to be around.

 

What is your fondest memory of being pregnant?

I absolutely loved being pregnant. Watching my body change and knowing I was growing a little human inside was so awesome! My fondest memory of being pregnant is having bubble baths and watching my belly move like crazy. It was also so lovely to have a little companion with me everywhere I went.

 

What’s one of the things that you least expected about motherhood?

I didn’t expect to feel every single emotion imaginable. Excitement, fear, joy, love, exhaustion! It’s been a hell of a ride so far but I am loving it!

 

Sometimes life can get a little crazy, what do you do to stay sane?

I have a great support network, a great hubby and family and lots of mummy friends to compare stories with. I like to leave the house work at home and get out and about with Jett and catch up with my mum and friends each week for lunches or coffee.

 

What’s your favourite activity that you and your children love to do?

We love to have an afternoon dip in our pool on hot days!

 

Is there any advice you can give to mums-to-be?

My advice would be not to stress too much about everyone’s advice. You will get a million conflicting stories and you just need to do what works for you and your bub. Mummy instincts kick in BIGTIME! What works for one mum may not work for you so don’t spend your time comparing yourself and your baby to others.

 

Mummy of the week

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Mia is the beautiful Mummy to her first child, Ivy. Through becoming a Mum, Mia has focused on becoming the best version of herself, putting her family first and avoiding sweating the small stuff. When she is not busy with Ivy, Mia’s creativity and talent flows through her own business, Captain and the Dreamers…

Tell us about your Family:

My gorgeous little clan consists of my loving Fiancé Adam and our beautiful, bubbly one year old daughter, Ivy.

 

What do you love most about being a mum?

Becoming a Mum has made me want to become the best version of myself. I no longer sweat the small stuff, what is most important to me now is my family and their happiness. Hearing Ivy call me ‘mum’, seeing her smile first thing in the morning and getting unexpected cuddles throughout the day, really puts things into perspective. That is what life is all about.

 

What has been one of your favorite memories about motherhood so far?

Being a young mum (24) has meant that Ivy has been lucky enough to have not only a Nan, but a Great Nan and even a Great, Great Nan.  We have five generations of women on my side of our family and one of my favorite memories was when we all spent the day together sharing in our individual journeys of motherhood. I’m so blessed to have such amazing women in my life passing down their pearls of wisdom.

 

Other then being a mum what are you most passionate about?

I am a creative soul so when I have the time to create an artwork that is what I love best. Adam has always encouraged me to do what makes me happy, so until only recently I have turned my passion into a part time job. It’s great as I can work from home which means I don’t miss out on time with Ivy.

Instagram @captainandthedreamers or facebook page Captain and the Dreamers.

 

What baby product can you not live without?

When Ivy was first born the Love To Dream Swaddle bags were a god sent. But I would have to say we could not have lived without our portable Snuggle Bed. This was a MUST as it enabled us to easily set up an instant comfy bed for her. This was particularly handy when visiting friends and family.

 

When hiring a nanny, what qualities would you look for in the application?

It goes without saying that when hiring a nanny one should look for an individual who is trustworthy, caring, patient and attentive, however communication is also key. Someone who I can communicate with easily would be essential. They must understand and respect our style of parenting and most importantly have a bond with our little one.

 

What is your fondest memory of being pregnant?

I absolutely loved every moment of my pregnancy. Seeing my body change and knowing that I was creating a new life was the most incredible feeling imaginable. However, my fondest memory would have to be when Adam could feel Ivy kick for the first time. Seeing how much love he had for her in that moment is something I will never forget. I remember him playing the song “A Little Ray of Sunshine” while we both sat with our hand on my belly. So many happy tears were shed in that moment. We still tear up whenever we hear that song.

 

What’s one of the things you least expected about motherhood?

Two words “baby brain” I suppose this was my most undesirable, least expected aspect of motherhood. I really thought it would go away after giving birth but boy was I wrong. I found myself turning up to appointments days before, doing the same load of washing twice and even leaving the house for work with my plate of toast… eeekkkk! However a positive aspect would most definitely be the instant love I felt for her.

 

Sometimes life gets a little crazy, what do you do to stay sane?

I am very lucky to live so close to the beach so when I can I always try to enjoy it by taking a coastal walk or heading down for a swim. Adam has family that lives up north and in the country also, so we try to plan family getaways to visit as much as we can.   

 

What’s your favorite activity that you and your child love to do?

Definitely Swimming. Ivy absolutely can’t get enough of the water. She also loves  ‘Baby Loves Books’ which is a reading & singing group we do weekly at our local library.

 

Is there any advice you can give to mums-to-be?

Trust your gut and don’t be afraid to ask for help. It’s true; it does take a village to raise a child. Sometimes asking for help or getting the answer to what may seem like the smallest question can make all the difference to you and bub. One thing I did notice and I’m still noticing is that everyone has an opinion on EVERYTHING. The most common phrase I hear from others is “They say…” man I would love to meet whoever “They” is haha. I believe it is important to be open to others opinions but at the end of the day do what works for you. And lastly, don’t sweat the small stuff the dishes can wait. Spend time bonding with bub, its wasn’t until having a baby that I realised how quickly time flies. Cherish every nanno second.

 

Weekly What’s On

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The Nanny Emporium Team has picked their favourite activities in Sydney for parents, nannies and mannies to enjoy with the kids.

Harbourside Pop-Up Beach

Where: Harbourside, Darling Harbour

What: Grab a deckchair and enjoy summer with sand between your toes… in the city! This beach has everything to offer, with free buckets and spades, misting to cool you down, a ferris wheel, water balls and free live music at night!

When: Friday 22nd January

Time: 9am – 9pm

How much: Entry event: free, Ferris wheel & water balls: $8

Visit: http://www.harbourside.com.au/

 

School Holidays at The Grounds

Where: The Grounds of Alexandria

What: After indulging in some delicious treats and hanging out with Kevin Bacon, the kids can partake in a fun craft session, making Australian flags in preparation for Australia Day!

When: Friday 22nd January

Time: 10am – 3pm

How much: Free

Visit: http://thegrounds.com.au/

 

Summer Holidays at Watson’s Bay

Where: Watson’s Bay Hotel

What: Bring the kids along for a fun-filled day of  face painting, craft and beach games!

When:  Each weekday of the School Holidays

Time: 12pm – 3pm

How much: Free

Visit: http://watsonsbayhotel.com.au/

 

Sydney Festival

Where: Hyde Park North

What: The Sydney Festival literally has something for everyone! With an array of food and drinks stalls, as well as free entertainment and workshops for the whole family!

When: Until Tuesday 26th January

Time: Various times

How much: Free

Visit: http://www.sydneyfestival.org.au/

 

Circus Oz

Where: The Entertainment Quarter, Moore Park

What: For the first time in 2 years, the famous Circus Oz performance is back in Sydney! Don’t miss this spectacular show, with amazing exhibits from trapeze artists, jugglers, acrobats, musicians and more!

When: Until 24th January

Time: Various times

How much: Kids: From $25, Adults: From $40

Visit: http://www.circusoz.com/

 

Is fussy eating a sign of trouble ahead?

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Often parents, nannies and even doctors dismiss fussy eating habits in children as just a phase they are going through but new research suggests that there may be much more to it.

Researchers at North Carolina’s Duke University have found that fussy eaters may actually be at higher risk of developing depression or anxiety. From a study involving close to 1000 pre-school aged children, those who were severely selective eaters were almost twice as likely to be diagnosed with social anxiety, generalised anxiety and depression when compared to children that were not fussy about food. The study also found that children who were moderate to severe picky eaters also were 3-5 times more likely to have conflicts regarding food.

Now we are not talking about children who have a non-preference for certain foods like the child who refuses to eat broccoli or the child who won’t eat strawberry yoghurt but those children whose eating is so restrictive that parents and nannies need to make meals for them separate from the rest of the family on a consistent basis. If this is the case then professional help make be a great idea and sooner rather than later.

Tips to help fussy eaters:

Keep them guessing

The wider the variety of foods you give from an early age, the less chance they’ll have to develop strong opinions about any one of them. If they love, say, avocado and you give it to them every day, they’ll start to refuse anything else. Even worse, they might get too used to it and never want it again. Change around your dishes and ingredients to always stay ahead of the game.

Change the texture

Texture plays a bigger part in our appreciation of food than flavour. Don’t believe us just ask yourself which you prefer, fresh bread or stale bread? The flavour of both is the same, but the texture is the difference between delicious and just yuk!

Involve them

Even if it’s as simple as stirring a pot or guiding their hand as they slice a piece of tomato, involving your children in the food preparation and cooking process is a sure-fire way to nip any dinner time complaints in the bud. It’s a rare kid who will help cook something themselves and then refuse to eat it later.

Lead by example

We learn our food habits from our parents and other adults regularly in our lives and in the future those habits will decide whether we cook our own food or order takeaway, or whether we chew on an apple or chomp on a chocolate bar, as well as our willingness to try new foods.

The big picture is about healthy kids becoming healthy adults. Small fussy eating can be easily overcome with a bit of consistency and planning. For severe fussy eaters you might need to get some outside advice before it becomes a bigger issue and affects other aspects of their lives.

 

 

Mummy of the week

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Image source: @vellumstudios_steve

Connie is mummy to her gorgeous daughter, Portia. When she is not busy fulfilling her role as Mum, she is writing creative content for businesses through her own company, Integrated Copy. Connie feels that being able to run a business from home, means spending more time with her daughter, which naturally, she adores. The Nanny Emporium team sits down with this Mummy to find out how she juggles it all and runs a successful business…

Tell us about your family…

We have an amazing daughter, Portia, who’s about to turn 12 and start high school eek – she’s totally ready but it’s taking us a little bit to get used to. We’re also about to welcome a new fur-baby soon.

What do you love most about being a Mum?

That it’s constantly changing as your child grows – watching them master things that just a few months before they struggled to do on their own.

What has been one of your favourite memories about motherhood so far?

I flew to Melbourne when Portia was about 3 years old to attend a friend’s wedding and it was the first time I’d travelled that far with her without hubby – I was pretty nervous. When we got off the plane people complimented her behaviour (some people even commenting that they hadn’t realised I was travelling with a child) and I remember thinking not only ‘I’ve so got this’ but also how proud I was of this gorgeous little human being we’d created and the polite girl she was. Now, like all kids, she has had her moments but on the whole she’s one pretty awesome person and I have some truly great motherhood memories to look back on already.

Other than being a Mum, what are you most passionate about?

I’ve created a content and social media agency, Integrated Copy, that I run from home – I get to spend more time with my daughter and at the same time help other small business to compete online and grow their businesses. I get to work with such a wide range of amazingly talented and passionate people from around the country and across the world. No two days are ever the same – I love it. And I get to work in my togs in summer and slippers in winter which is an awesome bonus!

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/IntegratedCopy/?fref=ts

Instagram www.instagram.com/integratedcopy

Website www.integratedcopy.com

What baby product can you not live without and why?

Well it’s been a while but, from memory, the Gaia Natural Baby products – they smelt fantastic, are all natural and the bath wash always helped settle Portia for a sleep. Their massage oil is especially great for baby massage/bonding time.

When hiring a nanny, what qualities would you look for in the applicant?

We used a combination of a nanny and child care over the years and the number one thing I always looked for is whether or not I could talk to them. Open communication between parents and care providers is so important. We were so lucky always having fantastic people caring for Portia when we couldn’t be there – so much so that I’m now friends with them.

What is your fondest memory of being pregnant?

Getting home from work on a stinker of a Queensland summer day, plonking down on the couch under the air con with a wet face washer spread over my enormous tummy and my dog coming to rest his head on my stomach for cuddles only to have Portia kick him in the head from inside. He was pretty puzzled at the time. A month or so later when we brought Portia home I took up the same position with her on top of me. The dog put his head down, she kicked him again. It was a light bulb moment – he figured out who/what she was somehow and became her instant protector/best friend.

What’s one of the things that you least expected about motherhood?

How yucky it was but how much you wouldn’t care. Motherhood can be seriously messy but when it’s your baby it just doesn’t bother you.

Sometimes life can get a little crazy, what do you do to stay sane?

Music! When things get a little crazy, even now, I just pop on some music and it instantly helps to restore my calm – and if I have a bit of a dance and singalong (often while cooking dinner) then all the better.

What’s your favourite activity that you and your children love to do?

Might sound a little boring but just snuggling up together. We pick a movie, make some popcorn and jump into bed together! It’s those quiet times I love the most.

Is there any advice you can give to mums-to-be?

We’re all just making it up as we go along so don’t compare your motherhood journey to anyone else’s. If you need help, just ask for it but don’t sweat the small stuff. Your baby won’t remember what you dressed them in, whether you breast fed or bottle fed, whether you used cloth or disposables…they’ll just remember that they were loved.

Oh, and enjoy it – they grow up so fast and soon enough they’ll be all ‘Oh, Mum’ when you hug them in public.

 

Nannying difficult children without losing your mind

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Nannies sometimes find themselves caring for difficult. Regardless of whether you are a new nanny or have years of experience this situation can make you feel like you are losing your mind. The Nanny Emporium offers some tips and tricks to dealing with difficult children to ensure the well-being and safety of the children and your own sanity.

Some behaviours are signs of an underlying situation or problem and some can be redirected or ignored until they grow out of that phase; the really tricky part is identifying the difference.

Bad behaviours that are harmful to themselves or others, such as biting, hurting animals or hitting, can’t be ignored and must be handled immediately. Other behaviours like tantrums, screaming, whining, refusing to eat, holding their breath, refusing to talk or interact can often be remedied.

Here are the steps involved in stopping difficult behaviours of the children in your care:

  1. Determine the cause of the behaviour
  2. Determine the developmental level of the child and whether the behaviour is characteristic of that developmental age
  3. Talk to the parents about the behaviour and methods they have used in the past to stop that behaviour
  4. Brainstorm with the parents on possible measures you both can take to minimise or eliminate that behaviour
  5. Talk to the child directly about their behaviour and see if they can offer possible causes or solutions to their behaviour
  6. Set your rules as a nanny for the children

How to set the rules and make them stick

  • Sit the children down and talk to them (very early on when you start the position) and tell them what the rules are, and why
  • The longer you wait, the harder it will be to stop the difficult behaviour
  • If you are caring for children who have been in preschool or older, they may be able to ‘tell’ nanny the rules. The more the children participate in the setting of the rules, the more ownership they have to them
  • A rules chart often works well for the pre-schooler through to primary school aged child
  • Sit down and explain the rules to guests when they visit. This both informs the guest and reinforces the rules to the children in the your care
  • Tell them the consequences when they break a rule
  • Physical punishment should never be an option
  • Time outs (one minute for every age they are is the general rule) or stopping an activity they are engaged in, or removing a privilege, etc.
  • Follow through with consequences every single time

Children will throw the biggest ‘fit’ the first couple of time you follow through, it is inevitable. But, the more consistent you are, the more they understand that you are not a pushover. Difficult children are masters at testing their limits. But kids are adaptable, once they have tested and established those limits then they are more likely to abide by them. Most children need some limits and structure.

Make sure the parents know what your rules are. Parents will seldom disagree with a rule if the rule keeps their children safe, even if they don’t use the rule when the nanny is not there. If the parents do disagree with you about a rule then you should explain why it is important. The nanny is 100% responsible for the safety and well-being of the children in her care, and is entitled to set reasonable rules of conduct to insure their well-being. Nannies need to protect themselves from charges of negligence or child abuse – all reasoned arguments that parents should be willing to agree with. The nanny who finds themselves in a position where the parents will not permit basic rules you need to maintain safety then you should immediately find another position. Do not jeopardise your career in this way.

Communication between you as the nanny and parents is key. Make sure the parents know when the child has misbehaved, and when they were redirected or received a time out or had a privilege taken away. Keeping a daily journal or log for the parents is something you should keep anyway to update the parents of what their children have been doing while they weren’t home.

Sometimes, you can’t curb difficult behaviour by yourself without the parents’ support. If the child is treated one way at home with you and another way while with their parents, sometimes it is nearly impossible to help the situation. You can’t change a family. This is why it is important that the family and nanny have similar philosophies of childrearing in the very beginning.

As a nanny you must adapt to the parents’ philosophy of childrearing, but within reason. When it affects the children’s health and safety, and your job performance you should follow the above steps to improve the situation. After all, the goal of child care, is to help them grow into happy, healthy, safe, friendly, productive, responsible, and independent adults.

 

Weekly What’s On – Christmas Lights Special

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To celebrate Christmas this year, The Nanny Emporium team has handpicked the best Christmas light displays that the Sydney streets have to offer!

 

EAST

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  • Knowles Avenue, Matraville
  • Waratah Street, North Bondi

 

WEST

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  • The Cascades, Mt. Annan
  • Warbler Street, Erskine Park

 

SOUTH

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  • Lorraine Street, Peakhurst Heights
  • Shirley Road, Miranda

 

NORTH

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  • Borgnis Street, Davidson
  • Shumack Street, North Ryde

Mummy of the week

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Sarah is the gorgeous Mum to her two beautiful boys, Cooper and Jackson. Sarah emphasises the importance of investing time in the significant things, like being present for your kids. This Mummy sits down with The Nanny Emporium to tell us all about her journey so far…

Tell us about your family…

My amazing hubby Robbie and I have been together for almost 7 years and have two beautiful boys Cooper (3) & Jackson (7.5 months). If I could describe Cooper in three words they would be energetic, happy, polite… He definitely keeps me on my toes! There are too many words to describe our beautiful little Jackson, but if I had to choose three they would be chilled, strong, happy! They are our world and bring us joy every single day.

What do you love most about being a Mum?

I love watching the boys grow and learn new things. They make me so proud! They have definitely taught me to enjoy the little things in life and I love creating special memories with them. So far I’ve loved the challenges (well most of them), and believe they’ve helped make me a better person. Together as a family, we can get through anything life throws at us.

What has been one of your favourite memories about motherhood so far?

The first time I cuddled my babies! It’s the most incredible feeling in the world! Their skin on yours and that instant bond and love that fills your heart! I will always remember that moment.

Other than being a Mum, what are you most passionate about?

I’m a high-school teacher and absolutely love my job. Although at the moment, I currently help run my husbands business “The Flyscreen Man”. So grateful to have such a hard working hubby who I truly believe is the best in the business!

What baby product can you not live without and why?

Baby wipes…. I use them for everything! AND Baby Swaddles…With Cooper we used the Love to Dream brand and Jackson we used the Baby Studio wraps!

When hiring a nanny, what qualities would you look for in the applicant?

Someone who is confident, loving and caring! I’d definitely want someone with experience who respects my parenting style and my child’s needs. I would have to feel comfortable that they would create and maintain a safe environment for my children at all times.

What is your fondest memory of being pregnant?

Feeling and seeing my body change was a pretty amazing experience. Those first movements are really special and even more special when my hubby could feel them too. By the end of my pregnancies, I would be teaching and the kids would watch my belly and see the bubbas arms and legs moving. They thought that was pretty cool. With my second pregnancy, my eldest Cooper loved my belly too, and would kiss it every night before bed, and say I love you to him.

What’s one of the things that you least expected about motherhood?

Our first born showed us the true meaning of sleep deprivation… People warn you, but until you actually have a newborn baby who wants to feed all the time and not sleep. Then you realise what sleep deprivation truly is. As a mum of two, you can’t have a favourite… But our little Jackson likes sleeping. Ha ha I also didn’t realise how hard breastfeeding is. It truly is one of the most selfless acts you will ever do! It was a bumpy 10 months with Cooper. But it was definitely easier second time around, and I’m proud to still be breastfeeding my 7 month old. Currently we have a threenager in the house… We thought we escaped the so called terrible twos lightly… little did we know three’s are where it’s at. I never expected that my child wouldn’t listen to me ha ha and be so headstrong and bossy. I guess he’s a mini version of me. Jackson is definitely his Dad!

Sometimes life can get a little crazy, what do you do to stay sane?

I’m a really active person, so have to keep busy. Making sure I get out and about every day is a must. Lover of running and pilates. The running is on hold, so instead lots of walking with Jax to take time out.

What’s your favourite activity that you and your children love to do?

We love the beach… It’s our happy place. Cooper is an early riser, so we like to get there early sometimes and we often have the beach to ourselves (apart from surfers of course)

Is there any advice you can give to mums-to-be?

Trust your gut instincts. Mummy’s know best!!! Do what’s best for you and your family. We live in a crazy busy world where people are expected to be here and be there. Invest time in the important things, like being present for your kids. They grow up too fast, relax and enjoy!